Latest Posts

irumeur: The Apple Tree

The male arousal is tantalizing for both male and female, creating an irrational motivation to sin. Sin that is ironically blamed upon the woman.

God conceived sex.

Since God intended every living organism to reproduce, sex seems a logical pleasure that should be sinless.

Sex is sinless. Sin comes through greed and obsession, an inner drive that has proven itself to be greater than the human mind. For some, this obsession compels them to euphoric pleasures, each more raw than the earlier until sin becomes the only source of satiation for a demented mind.

In an ego driven world, God is to blame. The great and almighty creator created sex, therefore sex is free from sin, and pleasure is boundless.

Women are bottomless dungeons, driven to discover and understand themselves and the world around them. This dungeon, filled with bits and treasures of knowledge far beyond what is written within a book, is the backbone behind the female propensity to nurture. It is the lure that drew Eve to the apple tree.

In a single bite, sex became the leading cause of sin. Power, greed, money–each of these ensnared by sexual pleasure that chauffeured the human species from one seedy encounter to the next in search of unrivaled rapture. This rapturous need has maimed, killed and destroyed lives while creating rapist, serial killers and pedophiles, each in search of a heightened sexual fulfillment.

Is God responsible?

“No.” God is without sin. God is the healing answer to sin through faith and prayer. The apple eaten by Adam and Eve gave the devil access to our minds, making him a powerful enemy to humanity. His power? Lust.

Lust made sex sinful.

The only power greater than the devil–God. Without God, humankind will continue their search to become godly while experimenting on the fetuses of both animals and humans, placing themselves in the hierarchy of eminence. It takes faith, prayer, and dedication to God to defeat the devil. Without our heavenly father we are doomed. A fix, I think… people will reject.

irumeur -Make Sense of the World

I read an usurp of the New York Times every day. I joined their email list to stay informed on current events.

I haven’t watched the news in years. I think a part of me wants to remain ignorant rather than read of death and corruption, but that was a tiny part of my choice. In actuality, I stopped watching the news because I could no longer trust the information provided to be fair and exact, without being blemished by “big media” opinion.

I subscribed to the Times believing a reputable newspaper wouldn’t influence its readers political or moral issues, but share the facts unbiasedly.

According to the Society of Professional Journalists (SPJ), journalists strive toward exchanging information that is accurate, fair and thorough, to ensure that free press is guaranteed to protect our First Amendment.

Then why do I feel violated?

I feel violated when protecting the First Amendment means the media uses their rights to influence its readers’ minds. It is akin to brainwashing.

I estimate this world is on a downward spiral, filled with people who expect a like-minded society to rule, as they inform the public through persuasion rather than producing unbiased truth. In an under-educated society the truth is easily manipulated, and minds are swayed, but we aren’t under-educated compared to countries like Afghanistan that have an average of 3.8 years of education per student (2017). In fact, in 2017 American citizens averaged 13.4 years of schooling per student (Our World in Data).

Is ‘fair’ and ‘accurate’ reporting even possible without bias? Should the ‘people’ be persuaded by unbiased journalism? The New York Times claims they, “help you make sense of the world.” Whose sense our they trying to help? Ours, or the one they would have us believe. I feel justified in saying that I’ll plan my path, making judgments that are uniquely mine, while reading the edges of news reports to keep a heads up.

irumeur: America the Free?

Talking politics with the youth of 2020, during a media controlled condemning of Trump, is like reading the “1984” novel by George Orwell. Orwell’s book should be a mandatory read for every high school student, or at the least, every college freshman. This book terrified me, opening my mind to the possibilities of what can happen under the pretense of totalitarianism, but I recognize a totalitarian control in a socialist democracy.

How can I make such an allegation? How many politically savvy, or even those averse to studying politics, have taken the time to read how socialism works? I’d take a chance by stating that most people only know what others have told them about a socialist government: Everyone carries the same financial independence in a world that harnesses the wealthy and makes everyone equal.

God Almighty people. Read! Someone is in charge. It will not be YOU. Since the government owns EVERYTHING, including your house, doesn’t that pot make someone mighty lucky – like finding the end of a rainbow? Most likely, the wealthy people you want to bring down to your level, will still be wealthy, except now they’re the government and get to decide everything about your life.

Once a socialist government takes control, there will be no freedom of speech, education, career, home, or food.

The government will decide your fate. Consider what John Maynard Keynes, biographer stated concerning Keynes views on Keynesianism, “The state is wise and the market is stupid.” Your brain belongs to the state and benefits the state- not your family.

(Keynesianism -Keynes belief that government should take a bigger role in the economy because they were more equipped to intervene and manage effectively) (

People need independence and without the freedom to choose we become restless and/or lazy. Here is the kicker for a socialist government, it fails because without motivation, people aren’t motivated. We see this every day in America. Generations of children born who learn from their forefathers that the government can and will take care of them. It’s the socialist government’s job to provide food and housing. Good luck with the issue of eating regular meals.

So, if we have all these lazy, unmotivated people in America, then socialism sounds like the perfect means to get them on the streets in a job designated by the government. First, most American’s are not lazy. The primary problem becomes a lack of incentive, which leads to laziness.

The socialist government must control what we hear (the media), and what we learn (education), what we say (freedom of speech), to convince society that they live within a prosperous state, with equality for all. There’s one problem with this manifesto: Those in power are the exception. They are the decision makers and have control of the money, the power, the choice.

“Those in power” are supposed to be the government. “We the people…” and all that will go out the window in a socialist government. They lead you to believe that the “people” benefit- but they don’t. It can’t happen.

Oppressed people must be ruled over by the decision makers and the decision makers “ain’t workin for free.” They own EVERYTHING!

Power breeds greed. A socialist government gets greedy and a greedy government becomes – well, Kim Jong Un (the North Korean dictator).

Many governments have tried socialism – and failed. The United Kingdom was once a socialist government. Margarat Thatcher, the “Iron Lady” of England, became the first female president in England, because she promised to bring back the people’s freedom of choice,  “A man’s right to work as he will, to spend what he earns, to own property, to have the state as servant and not as master—these are the British inheritance.” Thatcher believed a socialist government fails because “the problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”


Isreal tried socialism and ultimately its people rebelled against tyranny when the government became covetous and the people suffered.

The Israeli socialist government made all children below the age of 18 live together – away from their parents, and they gave extra money to the kibbutz (a communal settlement).

Why take children away? Control!!!!

So here’s what happened – the government, known as the Histadrut, (the general federation of labor) gave production control to the state, to prevent what they perceived to be “robbery.” They owned everything, including the kibbutz.

Ten years later, from 1965 to 1967, they suffered a recession, a Six-Day War and then in 1973, Milton Friedman pressed the Histadrut to “set your people free.”

China has seen success, although there are indications they are seeing a less favorable global gain. How has socialism worked in their country? A combination between socialism and capitalism, changing the superior control between the governing systems as warranted. China focuses more on a government led by dictatorship than the people. But then, isn’t that a socialist government? Control and power given to the few.

Fear does breed success. Plain and simple. Fear is the greatest form of brainwashing. You do what you’re told or – die.

I ask you, with all the concerns that Kamala Harris is a socialist, is she truly who we want to assist our president in leading our country? I am proud that the people are willing and open to a woman in command whether she be Caucasian or a woman of color, but I fear a socialist government.

No matter what you vote, this changing world (from free to oppressed) will only affect me, at best, another 30ish years, but my children and my grandchildren must continue on. I pray they will live in a free America, where they can be proud of their accomplishments in a society that will protect them and punish the guilty, while keeping the moralistic values of our forefathers. I am proud to be an American. I hope you are too.

irumeur -Black Lives Matter

My mind conjures up the image of a young boy. He’s walking along Alameda Street in Las Angeles. Anxious, he looks right and then left as he heads to the local Corner Store for a bottle of Coke. The sound of a police siren nearby.

At ten in the evening, he knows he shouldn’t be on the streets. Then he wonders – why? He makes good grades in school. His daddy works full time at M Plastics, and his mom cleans rooms at the nursing home. Why is he afraid?

Inside the Corner Store, the clerk watches him. Trying his best to look cool, he struts to the back and pulls a Coke from the shelf. One hand clings to his saggy britches as he set the Coke on the counter and reaches for his wallet. The clerk’s eyes squint, ready for him to pull out a gun. He knows this cause he’s seen it too many times. He wants to scream, “I ain’t got no gun, man. I just wanna buy a coke,” but he doesn’t. His daddy told him to keep his mouth shut so he don’t go to jail.

With the coke in hand, he walks nervously out the door, checking both ways, making sure they ain’t no cop lurking, and leaves.

Opening the lid, he takes a swig and sees his brother’s buddy standing on the corner. Cornell shakes hands with another dude that crosses the street and the whirl of a siren’s scream, as lights, blue and red, flash, blinding him. Afraid, he runs.

Every child matters. Black children, Caucasian children, Asian children, and Latin children. Let’s not stop there, there’s more – German, British, Polish, and Russian children, etc. So why does this boy run?

Because dark skin on a dark night has too often led to an arrest.

Past and present societal ignorance has brought us here, where people of color are assumed guilty, rather than presumed innocent. But the innocent are loosing ground to the guilty as more black children turn to crime to survive in a jungle of cement.

I read a moving article in the Time magazine yesterday. The article was written by Michelle Duster, Continuing my great-grandmother’s fight. (Vol. 196, NOS 9-10/2020) Miss Duster’s great-grandmother, Ida B. Wells, was a suffragette. Long after women had won the right to vote, Miss Wells continued to fight for the Black women, and founded the Alpha Suffrage Club along with Belle Squire and Virginia Brooks.

This piqued my interest. So, I read more.

A Voice From the South: By a Black Woman From the South was published in 1892, by a highly educated Anna J. Cooper. Miss Cooper believed that black women could improve society’s viewpoint of the African-American community through educational, moral and spiritual progress. Feminist criticized Miss Cooper, since it was against the 19th century cult of true womanhood. Others believed that Miss Cooper had struck true to black feminism.

At 6, Ruby Bridges faced a student body of Caucasians when she attended William Frantz Elementary School, never missing a day despite being the first African-American child to make this frightening walk in life. An amazing lady I’d love to meet. What inspiration she’d reveal about her courage, and how others should overcome fear.

This is only three examples of a massive list of African-American’s who faced life head-on, thriving in adversity and finding success. Was it fair? Wake-up – life isn’t fair.

They chose to be strong, even though they were weak. They faced the world, rather than let anger lead.

With such distinguished ancestors to admire and aspire, why do the Black youth of America so often collapse into self-destructive behavior?

Black pride can be found in hero’s who fought bureaucracy with dignity, not by destruction, hate, and drug money. Don’t be swallowed by poverty and hate, but fight as your forefathers did through education, activism, and pride, allowing your self-confidence to guide you into tomorrow. Instead, fight mind-against-mind and convince yourselves you are worthy.

I Am, But Another Creature On This Earth

I am simple, yet splendid in my humanity.
Human, with animalistic behaviors.  We crave. We desire. We love.  And, we destroy.  The predisposition to kill what we fear, hate or disregard is as evident in humans as, animals.
A pride relies upon the lion king to protect, and yet, he will kill cubs not his own.  The cub born of his opponents blood, is a cub destined for death.  The lion kings pride -his to kill or protect.
Humans don’t walk on four feet or jump on strong, oversized hind limbs.  Yet, we are no more significant than a blade of grass when we worship ourselves.  Unlike the lion king, we have the capacity for tenderness, self-sacrifice and love.  Reduced to selfish pride humans sometimes ignored, brushed off, or reinforced the right of choice.
When mankind kills the unborn, either directly or circuitously, we are no better than the lion king, guilty of selfish pride.
Humans are people, not gods.  Mankind has determined life from the unliving.  The unliving have no heartbeat.  A fetus moves.  Eats. Their fingers and toes wiggle.  Their hearts beat.
Once, people believed the slave property.  An animal.  Jews of World War II were regarded as a poisonous race.  A killer of civilization.  Death their only salvation from his persecution.
Scary.  I shiver to think, one day, I will be worthless.  There are already countries, which practice euthanasia.  Will you look away?  Will you fight for my life?
At least, I can scream in fear.  I can plead for my life.  The unborn cannot.  Their bodies ripped to pieces, sucked into a vacuum, discarded.  They fear.  They open their mouths to scream.  We can’t hear them.  Does their unheard voice not change the hearts of humans?  Murder is murder.  To claim it as less, defines us as animals.  The unborn are human.  They are as alive inside the womb, their sanctuary, their tiny home, as you, in your house of wood, stone, brick.  The laws protect you for now.  When the law recognizes you as worthless, an animal, the poisonous race – you will become the fetus.
Even thus, you won’t perish alone.
A fetus dies alone.  Without mercy.  Without humanity.  Just, another unwanted cub.





Lee Jinki

Lee Jinki, Shinee’s Onew, has announced he will begin his enlistment for mandatory duty in South Korean military on December 10, 2018.

I am beside myself with sadness.  I am not sure what will happen to Shinee with the unreturnable loss of Jonghyun -and now Onew’s enlistment.

By the time they release him from duty it will be time for Minho and Key to join.  Then once they‘re released, Taemin will join.  Will Shinee heal from this?  Only time will tell, but I fear the worst even as I hope for the best.

For a part, I’m not worried about Taemin, Minho and Key.  Taemin has a strong soloist career.  Key has produced his first release as a soloist and Minho has developed a career in acting.  But, what about Onew?

Onew began his acting career, but it was cut short when he was wrongfully arrested.  He’s had a few duets that did well, but a solo career is something he hasn’t shot for.  He released the song, In Your Eyes, from the drama, To the Beautiful You, with success but back in 2012.

Will this be my final days with this iconic singer I’ve grown to love so?  Will the Epilogue of their 2018 release be Shinee’s final song?  Will my six-year love relationship with Shinee end on December 10th?  No!  I will remain a fan of Choi Minho, Lee Jinki, Kim Jonghyun, Kim Kibum and Taemin for my remaining lifetime.

My dream is to hear him sing again.  I know now, my chance of watching a live performance in the States is unlikely, but if he sings -I will listen, even from afar.  I love his honey voice, I love his manly character, I love his soft ways, I love his mind, I love his demand for respect while he remains giving.  He is a man, a singer, a performer, and a representative for all I believe is good in one person -that person for me is Lee Jinki.

Saranghamnida Onew -come back to us safe and know -we will wait for you.

irumeur… Vacation

Family Vacation – Cedar Point

My girls will soon be out of the house.  Now, when I say soon -one is a senior and the other a junior (high school).  Their about to turn seventeen.  Ready to move on, at least in their eyes.

They wonder how I will handle the empty nest syndrome.  For a short span, I experienced being a motherless mother when my adult children graduated.  I won’t deny the emptiness of those years.  Especially, since I started over less than two years later.  Yet, my husband and I had fun (We were younger then).  I look forward to days without school demands, Teen PMS, the sleepless nights waiting for them to arrive home -safe and the mess -not only the girls but their boyfriends, friends and friends of friends.  Ugh!

Still, when I analyze the time we have left, the days to create more memories, and arms filled with daily hugs, plus the moments left to sit side-by-side sharing our lives I come face-to-face with reality.  They will leave!

This year, we are going to Cedar Point -the roller coaster capitol of the world (or so I am told) not because Bob and I are interested in riding roller coasters (we’re not) but it’s what the girls want to do.

It won’t be the four of us, and we aren’t taking the grandchildren.  We’ve invited the boyfriends.  Are we crazy?  No.  We want our girls to join us on vacation.  We could go somewhere ‘we’ enjoy, without them, but time has become precious and if we leave those boys behind the girls won’t go or, we could force the issue and listen to a non-stop barrage of boredom.  The mathematics simplified: x-2=2 (x being 6), and the two, isn’t the girls going without us.

Four days, six people, three dogs, two cars and two hotel rooms with four tickets to cedar point -$$$.  What will Bob and I do once the children are riding speed demons -not much -they spent the money.

I wish the time we have left, would slow to a crawl.  I want them to live a full life, experiencing things I only dreamed -college, a career of their passion, plus those I’ve experienced -traveling, marriage, babies (more grandchildren -how will I hold up?), buying your 1st home, becoming a grandma, and growing old.  But -not yet.

I need more seconds to scold them, more minutes to hold them, more weeks to watch them grow, more months to share time and more years to live side-by-side.  Happiness and dread cloak me as the time grows shorter.  I wonder if they will become so involved in their own lives the days we share will become fewer.  The final days of life are upon us and I must move on even in the emptiness of my arms.

Then again, those arms still fit (although, barely) around the man I love.  Woo-hoo, maybe we can at last share our marriage without the demands of a child insisting we meet their life expectations.  I think…’we’ can do this!



Kim Jonghyun Memorial Poem

My poem for Jonghyun’s Memorial Book

The White Butterfly
by: Donna D. Vaal

Silent and graceful flies the white butterfly
A masterpiece in rhythm.
Beating wings carry memories
Of laughter far away.

A gift of agony
A broken smile
Tears scattered in my lonely memories.
Cherished moments mask my trembling heart.

A final breath of misery
Plays with me dazzling in the blue moon
Singing hallelujah.

Why have you left us, Jonghyun?

Foreign Drama -Good Morning Call

Good Morning Call-p1.jpg

Good Morning Call

Netflix Original

Japanese Drama 2016 17 episodes

You may find this drama too ridiculous to watch, but I loved it.  Since most of my time in front of the screen was while I bathed, my skin wrinkled daily as I sat through each episode (one at a time) soaking in the tub.

No, it wasn’t the best drama I’ve seen.  The acting parts were silly at times.  I even wanted to tie Nao’s arms to her sides on occasion, but I adored this drama.  You have to look past the whole manga theme and appreciate the simplicity of these lives.

Questions: How can one girl be loved by so many men and not have an ego as big as Uehara’s?  Once more, why is she always oblivious of the men who love her?

Watch the drama and maybe you will see the same thing that captured my eye.  It is a sweet drama about a boy and girl who love each other.  The girl couldn’t possibly be more giddy and open about her feelings.  The boy, he struggles giving love and showing love -so when he does show her his feelings, these moments are more special.

My only complaint would be the kiss scenes.  Okay, we can do better here.  Although, the acting around the kiss -still touched my heart.

 Haruka Fukuhara – (Nao Yoshikawa) turns 20 this August.  I don’t often get a chance to watch Japanese dramas so this is my first time to see all of the actors in action.  Haruka plays a goofy, manga style character who can be annoying if you think of a real person behaving so ridiculously.  But, Nao is a manga character.  To play this part any less ridiculous than Haruka did -would take away from the intended style.  For me, she was adorable, fun-loving and sincere.

Shunya Shiraishi -(Hisashi Uehara) also has a birthday in August.  He will be 28 years old this year.  Wow!  I never saw that one coming.  Maybe 25? Anyway, he’s made a ton of movies going back to 2008, so he must be popular.  He didn’t make his first drama until 2010.  His character was serious, distant, and only shared moments of tenderness.  The further you get through the drama the more tenderness he reveals but you have to wait for them.  Yet, I love this type of man (in drama’s only).  Their confident strength in a real turn-on.  I’m surprised by his hair style which I didn’t think complimented his strong features.  Actually, when he ran and his hair blew out of his face is when I found him most attractive.  Still, he was perfect for the part of Uehara.

 Yosuke Sugino -(Natsume) I’ve left a message asking AsianWiki why he is not included as a cast member.  I had to do some searching to find him.  At 185 cm, this boy was my personal favorite in the drama.  His character was sweet, flirty, confident, kind, and persistently patient. This boy, who turns 23 years old in September, began his acting career in 2016.  He’s made four dramas (that I know of), with two of them being in 2017 -so he must be in demand.  With four movies (3 in 2017), he has one new movie in 2018, Anoko no Toriko.  Yep, I wasn’t the only one who liked him.

Dori Sakurada-p02.jpg Dori Sakuarda -(Daichi Shinozaki) was my second favorite hottie.  This 26 year old began his career in 2007, and scored parts in both dramas and movies since then.  He made three dramas in 2017 and one movie.  Busy boy.  He didn’t have a huge role, but he always stood out.

Kentaro-p1.jpg Kentaro -(Icchan or Issei) began his career in 2014 and already has several dramas and movies completed.  Three dramas and five movies in 2017.  Are you impressed?  I am.  He is either already working on or, scheduled to perform in 1 drama and three movies for this year (2018).  Wow!  He had a fairly big role in Season 1 and disappeared in Season 2.  I found this disappointing as I really liked his character.

Koya Nagasawa-p01.jpg Koya Nagasawa -(Abe)  Normally I would have only mentioned him briefly but Koya is new to the industry.  His first drama was Siren -2015.  He was only in episode 5.  That means this young actor won a substantial part in Good Morning Call.  I thought he did a fantastic job with his character.  Way to Go!

 Yoshida Madoka -(Ota Kayo) I loved this girl.  Small part and great hairdo.

Other actors:

  1. Moe Arai
  2. Shugo Nagashima
  3. Hinako Tanaka
  4. Takahashi Maryjun


Cinematography 9
Script 9
Music 8
Acting 9
Story 9
Total Score 8.8