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I Am, But Another Creature On This Earth

I am simple, yet splendid in my humanity.
Human, with animalistic behaviors.  We crave. We desire. We love.  And, we destroy.  The predisposition to kill what we fear, hate or disregard is as evident in humans as, animals.
A pride relies upon the lion king to protect, and yet, he will kill cubs not his own.  The cub born of his opponents blood, is a cub destined for death.  The lion kings pride -his to kill or protect.
Humans don’t walk on four feet or jump on strong, oversized hind limbs.  Yet, we are no more significant than a blade of grass when we worship ourselves.  Unlike the lion king, we have the capacity for tenderness, self-sacrifice and love.  Reduced to selfish pride humans sometimes ignored, brushed off, or reinforced the right of choice.
When mankind kills the unborn, either directly or circuitously, we are no better than the lion king, guilty of selfish pride.
Humans are people, not gods.  Mankind has determined life from the unliving.  The unliving have no heartbeat.  A fetus moves.  Eats. Their fingers and toes wiggle.  Their hearts beat.
Once, people believed the slave property.  An animal.  Jews of World War II were regarded as a poisonous race.  A killer of civilization.  Death their only salvation from his persecution.
Scary.  I shiver to think, one day, I will be worthless.  There are already countries, which practice euthanasia.  Will you look away?  Will you fight for my life?
At least, I can scream in fear.  I can plead for my life.  The unborn cannot.  Their bodies ripped to pieces, sucked into a vacuum, discarded.  They fear.  They open their mouths to scream.  We can’t hear them.  Does their unheard voice not change the hearts of humans?  Murder is murder.  To claim it as less, defines us as animals.  The unborn are human.  They are as alive inside the womb, their sanctuary, their tiny home, as you, in your house of wood, stone, brick.  The laws protect you for now.  When the law recognizes you as worthless, an animal, the poisonous race – you will become the fetus.
Even thus, you won’t perish alone.
A fetus dies alone.  Without mercy.  Without humanity.  Just, another unwanted cub.





Lee Jinki

Lee Jinki, Shinee’s Onew, has announced he will begin his enlistment for mandatory duty in South Korean military on December 10, 2018.

I am beside myself with sadness.  I am not sure what will happen to Shinee with the unreturnable loss of Jonghyun -and now Onew’s enlistment.

By the time they release him from duty it will be time for Minho and Key to join.  Then once they‘re released, Taemin will join.  Will Shinee heal from this?  Only time will tell, but I fear the worst even as I hope for the best.

For a part, I’m not worried about Taemin, Minho and Key.  Taemin has a strong soloist career.  Key has produced his first release as a soloist and Minho has developed a career in acting.  But, what about Onew?

Onew began his acting career, but it was cut short when he was wrongfully arrested.  He’s had a few duets that did well, but a solo career is something he hasn’t shot for.  He released the song, In Your Eyes, from the drama, To the Beautiful You, with success but back in 2012.

Will this be my final days with this iconic singer I’ve grown to love so?  Will the Epilogue of their 2018 release be Shinee’s final song?  Will my six-year love relationship with Shinee end on December 10th?  No!  I will remain a fan of Choi Minho, Lee Jinki, Kim Jonghyun, Kim Kibum and Taemin for my remaining lifetime.

My dream is to hear him sing again.  I know now, my chance of watching a live performance in the States is unlikely, but if he sings -I will listen, even from afar.  I love his honey voice, I love his manly character, I love his soft ways, I love his mind, I love his demand for respect while he remains giving.  He is a man, a singer, a performer, and a representative for all I believe is good in one person -that person for me is Lee Jinki.

Saranghamnida Onew -come back to us safe and know -we will wait for you.

irumeur… Vacation

Family Vacation – Cedar Point

My girls will soon be out of the house.  Now, when I say soon -one is a senior and the other a junior (high school).  Their about to turn seventeen.  Ready to move on, at least in their eyes.

They wonder how I will handle the empty nest syndrome.  For a short span, I experienced being a motherless mother when my adult children graduated.  I won’t deny the emptiness of those years.  Especially, since I started over less than two years later.  Yet, my husband and I had fun (We were younger then).  I look forward to days without school demands, Teen PMS, the sleepless nights waiting for them to arrive home -safe and the mess -not only the girls but their boyfriends, friends and friends of friends.  Ugh!

Still, when I analyze the time we have left, the days to create more memories, and arms filled with daily hugs, plus the moments left to sit side-by-side sharing our lives I come face-to-face with reality.  They will leave!

This year, we are going to Cedar Point -the roller coaster capitol of the world (or so I am told) not because Bob and I are interested in riding roller coasters (we’re not) but it’s what the girls want to do.

It won’t be the four of us, and we aren’t taking the grandchildren.  We’ve invited the boyfriends.  Are we crazy?  No.  We want our girls to join us on vacation.  We could go somewhere ‘we’ enjoy, without them, but time has become precious and if we leave those boys behind the girls won’t go or, we could force the issue and listen to a non-stop barrage of boredom.  The mathematics simplified: x-2=2 (x being 6), and the two, isn’t the girls going without us.

Four days, six people, three dogs, two cars and two hotel rooms with four tickets to cedar point -$$$.  What will Bob and I do once the children are riding speed demons -not much -they spent the money.

I wish the time we have left, would slow to a crawl.  I want them to live a full life, experiencing things I only dreamed -college, a career of their passion, plus those I’ve experienced -traveling, marriage, babies (more grandchildren -how will I hold up?), buying your 1st home, becoming a grandma, and growing old.  But -not yet.

I need more seconds to scold them, more minutes to hold them, more weeks to watch them grow, more months to share time and more years to live side-by-side.  Happiness and dread cloak me as the time grows shorter.  I wonder if they will become so involved in their own lives the days we share will become fewer.  The final days of life are upon us and I must move on even in the emptiness of my arms.

Then again, those arms still fit (although, barely) around the man I love.  Woo-hoo, maybe we can at last share our marriage without the demands of a child insisting we meet their life expectations.  I think…’we’ can do this!



Kim Jonghyun Memorial Poem

My poem for Jonghyun’s Memorial Book

The White Butterfly
by: Donna D. Vaal

Silent and graceful flies the white butterfly
A masterpiece in rhythm.
Beating wings carry memories
Of laughter far away.

A gift of agony
A broken smile
Tears scattered in my lonely memories.
Cherished moments mask my trembling heart.

A final breath of misery
Plays with me dazzling in the blue moon
Singing hallelujah.

Why have you left us, Jonghyun?

Foreign Drama -Good Morning Call

Good Morning Call-p1.jpg

Good Morning Call

Netflix Original

Japanese Drama 2016 17 episodes

You may find this drama too ridiculous to watch, but I loved it.  Since most of my time in front of the screen was while I bathed, my skin wrinkled daily as I sat through each episode (one at a time) soaking in the tub.

No, it wasn’t the best drama I’ve seen.  The acting parts were silly at times.  I even wanted to tie Nao’s arms to her sides on occasion, but I adored this drama.  You have to look past the whole manga theme and appreciate the simplicity of these lives.

Questions: How can one girl be loved by so many men and not have an ego as big as Uehara’s?  Once more, why is she always oblivious of the men who love her?

Watch the drama and maybe you will see the same thing that captured my eye.  It is a sweet drama about a boy and girl who love each other.  The girl couldn’t possibly be more giddy and open about her feelings.  The boy, he struggles giving love and showing love -so when he does show her his feelings, these moments are more special.

My only complaint would be the kiss scenes.  Okay, we can do better here.  Although, the acting around the kiss -still touched my heart.

 Haruka Fukuhara – (Nao Yoshikawa) turns 20 this August.  I don’t often get a chance to watch Japanese dramas so this is my first time to see all of the actors in action.  Haruka plays a goofy, manga style character who can be annoying if you think of a real person behaving so ridiculously.  But, Nao is a manga character.  To play this part any less ridiculous than Haruka did -would take away from the intended style.  For me, she was adorable, fun-loving and sincere.

Shunya Shiraishi -(Hisashi Uehara) also has a birthday in August.  He will be 28 years old this year.  Wow!  I never saw that one coming.  Maybe 25? Anyway, he’s made a ton of movies going back to 2008, so he must be popular.  He didn’t make his first drama until 2010.  His character was serious, distant, and only shared moments of tenderness.  The further you get through the drama the more tenderness he reveals but you have to wait for them.  Yet, I love this type of man (in drama’s only).  Their confident strength in a real turn-on.  I’m surprised by his hair style which I didn’t think complimented his strong features.  Actually, when he ran and his hair blew out of his face is when I found him most attractive.  Still, he was perfect for the part of Uehara.

 Yosuke Sugino -(Natsume) I’ve left a message asking AsianWiki why he is not included as a cast member.  I had to do some searching to find him.  At 185 cm, this boy was my personal favorite in the drama.  His character was sweet, flirty, confident, kind, and persistently patient. This boy, who turns 23 years old in September, began his acting career in 2016.  He’s made four dramas (that I know of), with two of them being in 2017 -so he must be in demand.  With four movies (3 in 2017), he has one new movie in 2018, Anoko no Toriko.  Yep, I wasn’t the only one who liked him.

Dori Sakurada-p02.jpg Dori Sakuarda -(Daichi Shinozaki) was my second favorite hottie.  This 26 year old began his career in 2007, and scored parts in both dramas and movies since then.  He made three dramas in 2017 and one movie.  Busy boy.  He didn’t have a huge role, but he always stood out.

Kentaro-p1.jpg Kentaro -(Icchan or Issei) began his career in 2014 and already has several dramas and movies completed.  Three dramas and five movies in 2017.  Are you impressed?  I am.  He is either already working on or, scheduled to perform in 1 drama and three movies for this year (2018).  Wow!  He had a fairly big role in Season 1 and disappeared in Season 2.  I found this disappointing as I really liked his character.

Koya Nagasawa-p01.jpg Koya Nagasawa -(Abe)  Normally I would have only mentioned him briefly but Koya is new to the industry.  His first drama was Siren -2015.  He was only in episode 5.  That means this young actor won a substantial part in Good Morning Call.  I thought he did a fantastic job with his character.  Way to Go!

 Yoshida Madoka -(Ota Kayo) I loved this girl.  Small part and great hairdo.

Other actors:

  1. Moe Arai
  2. Shugo Nagashima
  3. Hinako Tanaka
  4. Takahashi Maryjun


Cinematography 9
Script 9
Music 8
Acting 9
Story 9
Total Score 8.8

irumeur…Where Have I Been?

Our basement was ruined by ground water and insurance refused to help cover damage.  We’ve spent months rebuilding and my office only just got put back together.  It’s been a rough few months and there is still much work to be done, without enough hours.

I have much to write about but for now I will remain in hiatus.  I’m struggling with the absence of Onew and now the death of our beloved, Kim JonghyunShinee is my happy place.

Depressed?  Yes…

Since Onew disappeared on August 12, 2017 along with the fear of losing Shinee in my life had been difficult.  If you read my blog you know I love every member of the band.  Minho and Onew are my 1st’s, but I love each of them.

I was focused on fighting for the return of our Onew as, I believe many Shawols were.  We didn’t see the many signs our Jonghyunnie left us.  I often wonder if he sat in that lonely apartment wondering if we would guess in time.  We didn’t.

His voiceless spirit will be missed in my life. We are blessed he left behind such beautiful lyrics, music and visuals to remember him by.

In tribute to him, here are a couple of my favorite videos of this legend.  The first is my long time favorite and the performance that made me love him.

Y Si Fuera Ella – I can’t bring this up on my blog, so please go to YouTube and search this song with Jonghyun live. You will love his interpretation of this Spanish song.  Haeya, I believe the Korean name for Ella.  The name is Hae and ya shows respect.

The second was performed at his last concert, right before he died.  This concert was scheduled for a later date (as I understand), but Jonghyun moved the date up to December 3rd & 4th of 2017.

Moon – Type into YouTube Inspiration concert Jonghyun Moon.  He loved everything to do with the moon, and he used it as a visual for this song.  The dancing, vocals and visuals will show you his total talent.

Then on the early morning, around 4 a.m., December 18, 2017 Jonghyun took his life…

You did well Jonghyun…

Kim Jonghyun

April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017


Foreign Drama -Hwarang: The Poet Warrior


Hwarang: The Poet Warrior

20 Episodes 2016 – 2017

Yes, I know I should start off with the lovely leads but how can I when Choi Min Ho is in this drama?  Well, the answer would be that I can’t.  Did you get a chance to see the shower scenes?  Yes, Min Ho was upfront where he belonged.  Not that I was paying close attention -but how could I miss him when he stands out?

He had many memorable scenes, like teaching Moo Myeong what to do with his sister.  As he talked he did pull ups on the side of the bed.  Then he lead the group in the dance, and won us over in soccer.  Is there anything this boy can’t do?

Still, I felt sorry for him when the queen struck him.  Was he crazy about her because she was the only girl he couldn’t capture the heart of, or was it really love?

I was proud of my boy.

Park Seo Joon (Park Yong Gyu) is perfect in this drama.  He is sweet, protective, and masculine, while maintaining the semblance of a man in love.  Every scene was perfection.  He is the type of actor who can not be seen on the screen often enough for us to get enough of him.  Tall (185 cm), handsome and a good kisser (high requirements in my eyes).

I first saw  him much the same as most of you in Kill Me, Heal Me.  I knew it wouldn’t be the last time I would see this boy.  I’m sure his acting career has sealed its success by now.   He won 4 awards at the MBC Drama Awards for this drama.

Some good news, he’s already served his military time so we don’t have to worry about him leaving the screen soon.

Seo Joon also won us over with his performance in She Was Pretty.  He has another drama coming out this year: Fight For My Way.  This drama began its aired time on May 22nd and is now available on Viki.

Park Hyung Sik is a member of the Kpop Boy Ban ZE:A.  Recently rumors spread this band was disbanding.  However, it was announced to be untrue.  Several of the members are serving their military service and they are merely taking a break to work  on individual projects.

Hyung Sik has maybe the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.  I loved his kiss scene with Go Ara.  This was another one of those incidents when I wanted to split the lead girl in half so both the lead males could win her heart.

Go Ara did an excellent job in this drama but I was’t crazy about her -except for the moments she was telling a story.  I can’t say she didn’t win me over, but I wasn’t in love with her.

Seo Yi Ji kills me in everything she does from Moorim School, Another Miss Oh and Hwarang.  However, in this drama she showed a new skill -vicious.  I loved her and hated her at the same time.

Her new drama , Save Me, come out later this year and she co-stars with TaecYeon.

Do Ji Han was great.  One moment he was fighting with Min Ho and you were sure he would collapse the Hwarang program and the next he melted you with his adoration and love for Min Ho’s sister.  So cute.

He has a new drama coming out on May 29th: Lovers In Bloom.  He will have the lead in this drama.  I can’t wait.

A cast of men we would like to see again….

  1. Kim Tae Hyung
  2. Kim Hyun Joon
  3. Jo Joon Woo

We can’t overlook the rest of this cast.

  1. Kim Ji Soo
  2. Song Young Kyu
  3. Sung Dong ll
  4. Choi Won Young
  5. Kim Kwang Kyu
  6. Lee Kwang Soo
  7. Kim Won Hae
  8. Kim Chang Won
  9. Lee Byung Joon
  10. Kim Jong Goo
Cinematography 9
Script 9
Music 9
Acting 9
Story 9
Total Score 9♥