My title is wise words from Allister Begg.
I love him… He is such a great teacher of the Bible. I didn’t feel like going to church, and I don’t push myself when this happens. If I go for the wrong reason -God knows anyhow. There is no escaping him.
I have a habit of being lazy for fear of failure. I use this excuse to blow off my housework, my writing and my lawn.
However, the older I get the more I want to complete things. It is this driving force that keeps me writing even when I’m not sure I have something to say. Is this age? Or, do I finally get it?
Life isn’t about lazily sitting around hours watching TV, or searching YouTube. Life is about making an impact we can be proud of so the moment we die; we don’t feel it was wasted. If I don’t cook and clean -who will care for my family? If I don’t step up at church, will my church survive? If I don’t study my Bible, will I be ready for death? If I don’t write, will my stories ever be read?
We are going to die. Trust me when I tell you, it comes at us quickly. The older you get the more it rushes at you. I think this realization is what changed me the most. I don’t have time to be depressed, lazy, worthless. If I don’t start living -life will be over.
Physically, I am not able to do what I once could. Acceptance is the first step in pushing past.
I refuse to allow what I can’t do, keep me from doing what I can!
Every time I sit down to write I wonder whether anyone will read my words. I wonder whether my words will be worth reading. I wonder if I have just found a new way to waste my remaining years. Do any of you think these thoughts?
What to do?
First, I pray. Everything should begin with prayer. If we don’t trust our creator, how can we trust the mind he gave us to decide on our own future?
Second, I think about what lies on top of my mountain. If I carry with me what I have in my hands, I will ever get to the top? No!
It is too much baggage and doubt. Let go what holds you back. Failure feels like clothing. If you don’t carry it around you may forget and try again. How embarrassing to keep failing with everyone watching. Right?
Wrong! I want to reach the top of my mountain. The top leads me closer to Heaven. I can’t get there by my actions or deeds, but I can trust God, and by doing, so I can reach my end with love for myself. That is what the top means to me. Loving myself and dying knowing I lived!
So, who do I want to be? A woman who throws away her days doing nothing, or a Christian, who spends her days living as God demands?
I would rather fill my days with work I am proud of rather than fear failure.
When I tell myself to give up, I remember my choice to climb the mountain, even if I fall repeatedly. I can’t allow my failures to hold me back, even when I’m terrified to move. Writing is what I do -I am a story teller. My kids would call me a lecturer -okay; I am that also.
I’ve regularly fought to step away from fear and pushed myself to move forward. I haven’t always been successful because I am lazy of mind and body. To many times I tried to do it all on my own causing extreme failure. When I remember to allow God to lead -I can find hope in my failures and true success in my accomplishments.
I don’t have to carry my burdens, and I don’t need everything I can carry. So, I will write believing in myself so my mountain does not force me to live in a valley of failure. I think…it will be worth the climb.