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I Think…

Is love questionable?  When we love something, is loving, something we can stop?  What if the person you love hurts you?  What if they leave you?  What if they are the cause to your pain?

This whole question of love – can it be real, or is it just a twinkle that can burn out?  Over and over in my youth I felt what I believed was love.  I felt giddy and my body would tremble at their presence.  Was it truly love?

I’ve come to the conclusion that love takes on many forms.  Some loves are long lasting, but most have conditions set upon them –   am I still attracted to this person, do they make me happy, do I like spending time with them, and are they still with me?

Sometimes I think of all the arranged marriages that can happen when the couple are still children.  How can they be happy?  Often they don’t even know this person until it is time to meet for the wedding.  I’m certainly not an expert in the field so I won’t count myself as accurate on my assumptions here.  Yet, I am curious!  How can they bare to even share the same marital bed when they are not in love?  Or, are they?

If you live your whole life knowing that you are going to marry someone would you not feel some sense of excitement at your impending nuptials?  Would your heart not tremble when you face the one you will commit your life too?   Is this not what many of us call love?  I know I have!

Yet, others meet, date, share a bed, home, children, money and then they fall out of “love” and move on to the next person.  Why?  Doesn’t love mean anything?  Isn’t love worth working for?  We work for money, we work for our children, and we work for a home, a car, an education.  Why are we not as devoted to working for love?

I wonder if it isn’t because love isn’t “forever” real!  Anyone can fall in love.  Anyone can fall out of love.  That happens in marriage too!  There are times I love so deeply that my very breath seems dependent upon that love.  Other times I wish I could just walk away.  Yet, I stay!  Why?  Simple!  I am committed to the man.  Not because of “love” but because I have joined my life with his.  I have joined my body with his.  I have joined my heart with his.

We share so much more than the love that arises and tumbles.  We share a family, history, and most importantly, a bond.  The bond, that only happens when love is simply an emotion.  It is what happens after love that truly creates the bond.  It is the necessity of this person’s presence for your light to flare.  This is what I feel for my husband.  It isn’t about the youthful emotions that shake my core.  It isn’t about the smile that crosses my lips when I think of him.  It is, I think……….forever!

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I am a mother of 16 children and grandchildren. Some of them are by blood and the rest by heart. I was a foster mom for a few years and the children I cared for during that time have mostly stayed with me through the years. I love to write, read, dance, paint, and play with my animals. I enjoy dressage riding and just being in the barn. My words are my gift, as they allow you to know me as I really am. Thanks for joining me on this ride of life!

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