DIPG –Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma
As I sit here writing this to you, my heart is heavy with distress. I am currently watching these children die from the same disease that took Peyton: Chad, Jibril, Lillian Grace, Gabriella, Sara, Andrik, Lejla, Natasha, and Anya, James, Lexy and Jarod. In additions there are the families of the children, I’ve already watched pass: Aiden, Jacob, Danny, Bryson, Lilleah Grace, Josiah, Devan, Drew, John, Cooper, Michael, Jasmine, Evyla, Molly, Isabel, and Gage, plus more, so many more. To many children I’ve cried for are now only memories long before we are ready to say “good-bye.”
Names are all that I am able to write but behind every name is a child filled with life. Vibrant, beautiful children who will soon be tired withering bodies waiting for the Lord to carry them home. As I look upon them, I see their shine grow dimmer. I see them switch from bodies of light to grey death.
It does not matter how much we hurt for them – they will die! It doesn’t matter how much we do for them – they will die! A light illuminated will soon be extinguished. A life gone from the loving arms of their mother, laughter, screams of joy and the innocent giggles will all be gone. Only the memories left to carry them through.
I want to scream out in anguish! I want to destroy the cancer which is stealing these lives! I want to cry in my pain and make it all go away! I am left with regret – regret that I am only human.
Still I watch. I pray. I cry. At the same time, I carry this sadness for their last moments, days filled with pain and knowing. Please pray with me,
Jesus, I pray you will,
Choose to hold these children in your arms
Hide the pain they must endure.
Include them in your plan for tomorrow.
Lift them up before our Father
Douse the sorrow of their families
Render them peace as they look behind the curtain of life and fear not tomorrow
Envelope them with your love
Never leave them.
We ask this in your most precious name. Amen
DIPG – my disdain is overflowing and rips into my soul. A living monster of death that carries with it the burden of certainty. I think…….I hate you!