irumeur...
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I Think…

DIPG –Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma

As I sit here writing this to you, my heart is heavy with distressI am currently watching these children die from the same disease that took Peyton: Chad, Jibril, Lillian Grace, Gabriella, Sara, Andrik, Lejla, Natasha, and Anya, James, Lexy and Jarod.  In additions there are the families of the children, I’ve already watched pass: Aiden, Jacob, Danny, Bryson, Lilleah Grace, Josiah, Devan, Drew, John, Cooper, Michael, Jasmine, Evyla, Molly, Isabel, and Gage, plus more, so many more.  To many children I’ve cried for are now only memories long before we are ready to say “good-bye.”

Names are all that I am able to write but behind every name is a child filled with life.  Vibrant, beautiful children who will soon be tired withering bodies waiting for the Lord to carry them home.  As I look upon them, I see their shine grow dimmer.  I see them switch from bodies of light to grey death.

It does not matter how much we hurt for them – they will die!  It doesn’t matter how much we do for them – they will die!  A light illuminated will soon be extinguished.  A life gone from the loving arms of their mother, laughter, screams of joy and the innocent giggles will all be gone.  Only the memories left to carry them through.

I want to scream out   in anguish!  I want to destroy the cancer which is stealing these lives!  I want to cry in my pain and make it all go away!  I am left with regret – regret that I am only human.

Still I watch.  I pray.  I cry.  At the same time, I carry this sadness for their last moments, days filled with pain and knowing.  Please pray with me,

Jesus, I pray you will,

Choose to hold these children in your arms

Hide the pain they must endure.

Include them in your plan for tomorrow.

Lift them up before our Father

Douse the sorrow of their families

Render them peace as they look behind the curtain of life and fear not tomorrow

Envelope them with your love

Never leave them.

 

We ask this in your most precious name.  Amen

 

DIPG – my disdain is overflowing and rips into my soul.  A living monster of death that carries with it the burden of certainty.  I think…….I hate you!

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I am a mother of 16 children and grandchildren. Some of them are by blood and the rest by heart. I was a foster mom for a few years and the children I cared for during that time have mostly stayed with me through the years. I love to write, read, dance, paint, and play with my animals. I enjoy dressage riding and just being in the barn. My words are my gift, as they allow you to know me as I really am. Thanks for joining me on this ride of life!

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