irumeur...
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irumeur…

I am thankful I no longer need something outside me to be happy.

Another blogger, who I believe has a problem with depression and anxiety, began talking about her day, and what she is thankful for: Lyfwithem.  It’s a great post, and I recommend you read it.

I think of all the years I suffered from depression.  Days in bed, hours sleeping to escape my suffering, and the self-doubt.

What changed?

I did get Lupus -and I started taking fish oil, daily.  Somehow, learning I could die young, made me want to live.  It gave me the confidence to live.  At least, I wanted to live, completely, every day I had left to live.

Prior to that, I’d listened to every inspirational speaker I could.  I spent hours changing the way I talked to myself, most of the time.  I learned a lot during those years, of self-growth.

All my life, I knew that I was different, that others were turned off by me.  I didn’t really understand what it was, but I reflected over my belief in their thoughts, for hours at a time.  Always, I would analyze and ridicule myself for every failing; I’d determined.

One day, there was a shift.  I decided that the years of reflection had taught me something very important.  I liked me -even if no one else did.  I’d love to tell you this did the job.  It certainly helped!  I was now able to sit within my body, in comfort.

Still, my saving grace was my disease.  I am so glad I was chosen to carry lupus, in my daily life.  I still get sad, but rarely depressed, and when I am depressed, it doesn’t last.

I love living!  I love sharing new adventures, seeing the world without the tears, and feeling free from my mind.

We work together now, me and my mind.  We feed ourselves positive feedback, love, and acceptance of our flaws.  We believe that nothing can stop us, even when we fail.  Failure is just another step toward, doing.  Something, we used to beat ourselves up over.

I’m thankful, I think…for living!

 

 

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I am a mother of 16 children and grandchildren. Some of them are by blood and the rest by heart. I was a foster mom for a few years and the children I cared for during that time have mostly stayed with me through the years. I love to write, read, dance, paint, and play with my animals. I enjoy dressage riding and just being in the barn. My words are my gift, as they allow you to know me as I really am. Thanks for joining me on this ride of life!

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