Day: September 2, 2016

irumeur… I’m Out of Control

I’m waiting… For what?                                                       Death. When?                                                                                              I don’t know! Am I a webtoon character where someone else gets to decide when I die, who I love, what I become?          I try to remember the last time any decision I made for my own life came to fruition.  As a young woman, I knew who I loved and what I wanted to be.  Along my path, I’ve made choices to dare myself in facing the dangers of rejection, loneliness, and disappointment -believing if I tried hard enough I would one day be in control. Yet, here I sit without a single hope my dreams will come true. With each step, I get knocked back down.  With each choice, I am forced to accept I am not in control.  With each desire I am shown a trickle of satisfaction.  With each change I make it only becomes a new way to fail.  Why?  Who are you who holds the pen to my creation?  If your hand must intervene into my every drawing why do you give me barriers I can’t break through?  Did you create …