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irumeur… 2017 Goals

2017 Goals

  1. Publish Love Forgotten
  2. Finish New Religion Novel and Romance Novel, I’m working on
  3. Finish editing novel I just finished writing
  4. Get a job…

Yes, I plan on going back to work.  I know.  My health isn’t that great but an opportunity has arisen, and I hope to step into a new role as our county’s CASA director.

I’ve been a CASA for the neighboring county for several years now and carry a full load of cases, despite being a volunteer.  When I began I talked with my county judge.  He only used Guardian ad litem’s because if he paid them, he could yell if they didn’t get paperwork turned in on time.

He hinted about how much he would pay a director, so I felt I could have talked him into this change, but I wasn’t ready to be a director.  I was still learning.  As far as that goes, I am still learning.  In this job, I don’t believe I will ever stop learning.

With this recent election, we’ve gotten a new job.  I toyed with the idea of talking with him.  So, I called.  Not only was he receptive, but he was already in the process of talking with the state about starting a program.

My director contacted me when she heard about the new judge and let me know it had just occurred that I might leave her.  I was honest and told her my plans.  However, plans do not always go the way we hope.  She told me it would take 3 CASAs to replace me, and she wants to be selfish and hope I can’t run the program.  Such a sweet thing to say.  I really appreciated it.

I will know in a month, after the judge concludes his meeting with the state where the judge plans on taking this, and whether I am the right fit.  I sincerely hope that I am.

The children of our world need men and woman to advocate for them to have a better life then the one their parents are currently providing for them.  Most parents believe they are good parents even when they are using drugs, abusing their children, or leaving them home alone.

It isn’t that they can’t picture the mistakes they are making.  In their minds, they convince themselves they aren’t hurting their children, or what they are doing is for the best.  Think about your own parenting.  Have you ever made a mistake?  I have.  Lots of them.

Sometimes I react without thinking it through.  For instance, if I got smacked in the mouth by the head of my child.  It hurts.  I know when this happened, I snapped at them and felt angry.

It was an accident.  They didn’t mean to bust my lip.  At that moment, all I could think about was my mouth hurt, and they shouldn’t throw their head back.  I reacted much the way I did when I dropped a log on my big toe.  I yelled!

Was it good parenting?  No.  I didn’t think it through, or I wouldn’t have yelled.  I would have rationalized the accident and talked with them about it.

What about my divorce?  Did I make the right decision for my children, or just for my selfish needs?

Well, in this case I truly believe I made the best choice for myself and my children.  Did it hurt them? Yes!  Divorce always hurts the children.  You can’t escape this.  Their lives are torn apart, and we are asking them to accept new dynamics.  Especially, when we introduce new partner – a person  who may very well become a parent figure.

Will this person love my children as I do?  Most likely, they will not.  There are men and women who can love your child and be a good parent figure, but most relationships start out great, gets rocky and eventually either falls apart or a loving relationship will develop.

I know in my case, it was the latter.  My husband, 30 years, was great with my two children (who are now adults).  Then things fell apart for our family, and we struggled for years.  During that time, as we learned to work as a couple and his relationship with my children began to grow.  Now, they are his children, and he is their dad.  We were lucky.

Not all families are this lucky.  Some women marry men (it can happen the other way around also) who are more interested in their children -and not in a healthy way.  Some men or women hate their spouse’s children and hurt them.  Often they do this behind their spouses back, but sometimes they convince the parent their children are bad, and causing the problems in the family.  This often turns a once loving parent against their own children.

The new parent figure will bring their own baggage and the mistakes of their parents into your household, causing chaos in the home.

Not all problems arise from divorce.  These lack of parenting skills and nurturing can happen between birth parents also.  One of our biggest problems in the family home is drugs.

The abuse of narcotics is not only illegal.  It can be lethal for the children.  Choosing to use drugs and raising children -how does anyone get there?  This still throws me off balance.  Before children are born, the mistakes we make only harm ourselves.  If this is the life, we wish to lead -why try to raise a child?  The good news is this is a situation most neighbors will report.

It is prescription drugs that are causing a huge breakdown in our family homes.  Most friends and family members will justify, excuse and even lie to protect the family member addicted to pain pills.  Why?  I believe it sneaks up on them, and they try to fix the problem within the family.  They convince themselves it isn’t that bad.

When you’re high on heroine or crack the way you dress and behave becomes drastically different in a short period of time.  When you are taking prescription drugs, you often begin taking them because something has happened causing high degrees of pain.  Before long, you’re hooked.  At first, you are able to function normally and believe you have a handle on it.  You sleep when you are high.  Slowly, the drug takes over your life, and you will forget about caring for your children, your home, yourself.  Everything you do is for that next high.

I blame the doctors who write these prescriptions -but that is a different post.

Even in each of these scenarios there are thousands of variations.  I am only touching the outer edge of possibilities here.  And, each of these parents believes they are good and loving parents.  Even when the mother tells me, she loves her daughter, but she can’t look at her son.

My own 15 year olds get mad at me when I’m watching a Korean drama and I shush them when they enter the room.  Oh, do I hear about it.  I only want them to wait until that segment is over, or until the end, and then I will come and find them -but they see this as neglect.  This tickles me.  I sincerely hope this is the worst, I think…of my mistakes.

I hope you will say a few prayers and help me be awarded my counties CASA director.  Thank you.

 

 

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I am a mother of 16 children and grandchildren. Some of them are by blood and the rest by heart. I was a foster mom for a few years and the children I cared for during that time have mostly stayed with me through the years. I love to write, read, dance, paint, and play with my animals. I enjoy dressage riding and just being in the barn. My words are my gift, as they allow you to know me as I really am. Thanks for joining me on this ride of life!

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