I don’t say “I’m sorry” very often. My husband comments on this because he feels that he is the only one who says these words. I find “I’m sorry” lacks meaning unless we genuinely mean it. I agree with what she wrote. Us women do need to hear these words but for my husband I don’t just spill out words without meaning (which us women often do) I show him each day that I forgive his unforgivable and aggravating behaviors by loving him and allowing him to Feel my love, every day. This is a great article.
Continuing my quest for justice in conversations across the intertoobz, I encountered this interesting gender tendency around saying sorry. “Justice” within marriage requires an interest in your spouse’s perspective, sorrow for their suffering, and a willingness to name evil for what it is. Empathy. On both sides. No empathy, no connection.
This is a very feminine perspective of course, but in order to feel loved, women need safety and justice. You want women to feel loved because, well because there are great perks there. Women function best when we feel loved. What is it to feel loved? Safety, justice, protection, provision. Men tend to feel love as something more entwined with respect.
Someone smart once said the secret to a good marriage is just one-act of forgiveness after another. I think that is really true, and we are just speaking of the trials and tribulations of daily living here. Unforgiveness…
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