All posts filed under: Raising birth children/adoptive children/foster children and CASA children

Fostering Preteens and Teens

This is a different world folk.  With the younger children, you can still mold them, and hold them when they are scared. The teen and preteen want their space.  They don’t trust you.  They don’t like you and every moment you believe you are beginning to make a connection –YOUR NOT! At least, not until they decide to change. Most of these children suffer from Attachment Disorder.  They’ve also witnessed violence, severe disputes (screaming, cussing, pushing, damaging words) that would leave most people appalled.  Yet, they must continue to live, despite this trauma. So, what do you think you are going to say to the teenager, when they mess up?  Let me tell you what doesn’t work. yelling spanking isolation rejection They’ve already had their fill of these punishments.  If you’re a foster parent, adoptive parent, or caregiver to an abused teenager you need to understand that they are dulled by years of severe abuse.  Your childish tantrums will go unheard, and be completely ineffectual. What you have taught them: All adults behave the same way I …

10 Questions I Asked My Kids (5)

Originally posted on All In A Dad's Work:
1. What are you good at now? Crash: Baseball Bang: Digging with a real wrecking ball ? 2. What will you be good at when you grow up? Crash: Baseball Bang: Making messes 3. How old do you wish you could be? Crash: 18 or 19 Bang: sixty nine hundred 4. What 3 things would you take to a deserted island? Crash: Sword, Pick Axe, and a friend Bang: A stinky sock, a shoe, and a huge car that would explode 5. The world just turned into Legos. What do you build first? Crash: The Millennium Falcon Bang: A big firehouse 6. Did you have a dream last night? Crash: I was playing wheel of fortune and I won a million dollars so I bought a fitbit and a gerbil Bang: I dreamed about reading the Lego book and I was dreaming about a garbage can on a cat’s head 7. If you could, what 2 animals would you combine? Crash: Shark and a parrot Bang: Giraffe and…

irumeur…

Foster Care/Adoption.  A fellow blogger and adoptive mom, posted about the Care for Disrupted Families in adoption. You can read the article at: http://hypervigilant.org/2016/03/10/care-for-disrupted-families/comment-page-1/ It has been seven years since our daughter came home.  She just turned 7 years-old.  I’d only been fostering for a few months, when we were notified about our girl.  Because of the trauma she’d already suffered, I wanted to help her find peace in a world of disruption, displacement and dismissal.  This was not an easy task.  How can anyone make this okay? Still, it was my job -and I was determined.  So, I thought I would share with you -hopefully potential adoptive parents, one of the tricks in my bag -that really made a difference.  I won’t tell you what happened in my daughters world, or the things that were revealed through this process -but I will give you the tools to make it work for you. Each night at bedtime, we would sit and talk about our day.  Maybe we would read, I always love to read children’s …